I just have to take a moment to get this off my chest because I have been hearing it a lot lately! I might offend some people and frankly I don’t care, no one is forcing you to read this.
I have lately been in a few situations where I hear mothers, who work outside the home, say how amazing it is that they are able to “have it all.” My assumption, because I have yet to ask, is that this is in reference to having kids and a career.
I worked outside the home until I had children. There was a point where I was making very good money and would have been considered “successful.” I interviewed for a very high paying job right before my husband and I decided it was time to start a family. My husband and I made the decision, knowing there would be several sacrifices, that I would stay at home with them while they were young.
So….this phrase of “I am able to have it all” just needs to check itself at the door…..
What exactly does “have it all” mean?
Does it mean having a job and children?
Because you have a career outside the home and I don’t…does that mean I DON’T “have it all????”
What exactly is “having it all?”
I first and foremost don’t need society’s “atta boy” in telling me I DO or DON’T – “have it all.” Just because some bra burning feminist years ago thought they’d tell me what “having it all means” does not mean I am gonna bite that hook.
And I certainly don’t need sympathy in the fact that I have chosen to stay at home and be physically present and available to my children throughout the day. I in my heart am making the decision to make this my current career. Just because I don’t get a paycheck for it every two weeks does not mean I don’t “have it all.”
And yes…I called staying at home with my kids a “Career.”
Career: an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress.
I believe there’s definite room for progress as a human being in caring for the ones you love the most, morning, noon and night.
I also want to say that I not for one moment think working outside the home is to be belittled in any way either. Mothers who have chosen to work outside the home should be commended for the hard work that they do as well.
But enough of this phrase! Enough of throwing this term around as if there is some correct definition……I mean Seriously….
There is so much more I could say on this topic….enough for a book…
It is up to No one but oneself on whether one “has it all” or not.