I read an outstanding article last week by David Brooks of the New York times- “Moral Bucket List.” It was about living a Eulogy kind of life. What does that even mean right?
In short-what will be said at our eulogy?
It reminded me of perspective and how far off society is on what truly matters in life. On the day of your funeral, no one is going to talk extensively about the house you lived in, what kind of car you drove, the clothes you wore, or even your career…..
What will be talked about is how you impacted the lives around you.
I have a younger sister, who is doing amazing things! She is in grad school to be a therapist and has a real heart for veterans. When I talk to her, I am truly mesmerized by her daily impact on those in her sphere of influence. Many of her clients have thanked her for the role to recovery she has played in their lives.
It is a different role we all play in this life….the key, is finding just who you were designed to be.
I knew after I read that article….I want my deepest impact to be on my children. I want my children’s memory of me to be one that empowers them and their children. Unlike my younger sister, being a stay at home mom, I don’t get a lot of daily “thank-you’s.” Yes, I have a very appreciative and awesome husband, but my client’s (my children) “thank-yous” are slobbery kisses and sticky hands grabbing at my shirt in an attempted hug. There is no: “wow-I really appreciate how you put my shoes on, combed my hair, changed my diaper, cut my food into tiny pieces, showed me the different bugs on our walk today and spent time praying for me this morning mom” -“thank yous.” Motherhood calls for a selflessness that the world does not value. We live in an “instant results” society…..there are no “instant results” with raising children….the outcome is displayed years later. A child’s character is developed, it is not microwavable.
Because I blog on politics, I come in contact with other people who are politically active as well. I spoke with an older woman last week who has worked on various campaigns, ran with really big names, and is a powerful activist. I was so impressed with her resume. We initially talked politics and then she wanted to know what else I did. I said, “well….I am a mom. I am at home with my two children,” I said. Her response is what alarmed me and what moved me emotionally….. “that is the most important thing you will ever do in this life,” she said. Yes, I have heard this before, and I know this to be true, but having her look deep into my eyes and say this with the conviction in which she said it, brought tears to my eyes. I spent almost two hours talking to this woman but what I continue playing in my head is her sincerity on motherhood.
I have had the incredible blessing to be surrounded by many powerful women in my life. These women would without a doubt contribute their biggest accomplishments to raising children. Anyone can watch a child, not anyone can raise a child.
Society does not value the role of mom. But what society “values”- will not speak at your funeral.
This short blog, is to encourage every mother out there that thinks being a mom is not enough. It is. It is more than enough. You might not get that daily “atta boy” but I assure you…..your pay off is down the road…..