initiate it. If we want to be taken seriously, we feel that we must emasculate ourselves. We think to ourselves, “how dare she” if another woman attempts to keep her femininity and be successful at the same time. Sarah Palin is the epitome of this phenomenon. When a woman dares to succeed, and not lose herself in the process, we take that as an assault on our own chances. We feel we have no other recourse but to nip it in the butt. We don’t wait for men or for society to pull her back down. We will rip her to shreds ourselves…just in case.

Take Katie Couric for example. Katie was a beautiful woman, adored by many while she was co-anchor of The Today Show. Mrs. Couric was loved for her quick wit and even her stylish appeal. She was offered the opportunity to anchor CBS’s Evening News, and for some reason, she changed her “look.” Whether it was of her own doing, or on the advice of others, Katie went from looking fresh and vibrant, to a matronly, school marm version of her old self. She changed both her makeup and wardrobe. Eventually, with the drastic change, she cut off her hair. Oddly enough, other women commented that this new look appeared “more professional” than the “old Katie.” This is something I will never understand. Was Katie Couric given the spot because of something she might become, or because of who she already was? Why did she not feel comfortable enough in her skin to stay true to herself? The answer is simple. Because it is ingrained into women that they cannot be feminine and be respected simultaneously.

Women are told from the time that we are young that men will never allow us to achieve this or that. The truth is that women, as a sex, are akin to crabs. You can catch one crab, place it in a bucket, and soon it will claw its way out to freedom. But if you catch two crabs and place them in the bucket together, you are golden. Crabs, like women, do not allow one another to advance in life. All of the crabs may wish to escape the bucket, but at the same time, if they see one smart enough to be close to escape, they will reach up and pull the almost successful crab back down. They would rather wallow in sorrow together, than to watch one of their own succeed.

Women have been doing this to each other for years. We use language that masks the true intention, like empowerment. But we are not empowering women by our current actions. Instead of giving other women a boost and being proud of their successes on their way up the ladder, we hover around in an angry mob, ready to grab them by their heels. The only way we can allow women any bit of success is if we strip them of their femininity. Are we naive enough to think that a woman is only a woman if she is cloaked in femininity? Are we so shallow that we only wish the best for and respect women who attempt to masculinize their appearance?

Agree with her or not, Janet Reno was taken seriously as an authority figure because she did not appear feminine. Madeline Albright was accepted because of her appearance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that these women were ONLY accepted because of their appearances, but we as a gender, gave them the benefit of the doubt because of their appearance. MSN’s Encarta lists the 10 Most Powerful American women. Nancy Pelosi is there as Speaker of the House.

Hillary Clinton, Sandra Day O’Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Anne Sweeney all have something in common besides making Encarta’s list. They share similar tastes in hairstyles.
Hillary Clinton was allowed to champion the feminist cause because she wore pantsuits and had short hair. If a woman feels beautiful with short hair, I applaud her. But I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when a woman styles her hair or her clothing a certain way simply to be accepted in what they perceive as “a man’s world.”

I am guilty of falling prey to this mentality myself. Before Sarah Palin entered the picture, I secretly hoped that Hillary would succeed in her quest simply because I wanted to see another woman achieve something great. I thought to myself…Self…”They” will let this woman achieve greatness because she is not seen as a feminine woman. How ignorant was I? When I saw Sarah Palin come out on the scene, here was a beautiful woman, a mother, and a politician who shared my principals. I should have known that women would be her worst enemy.

Ladies, wake up, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL! And we can be smart and powerful and kind and strong all in the same package. We do not have to trade one for the other. Women are the only ones who have allowed it to be a man’s world for this long. And women are the only ones who can put an end to it, once and for all. The next time you hear a woman speak, it is up to you to embrace her for the feminine creature that she is. She is not competing with you or dragging you down. You are doing that to yourself. A beautiful woman with intelligence and something to say is not a threat, she is the embodiment of YOU. Listen to what she has to say, appreciate her words and take her at them. Do not delude yourself into thinking that the likes of David Letterman, who joked about Sarah Palin’s teenaged daughter getting knocked up by A-rod at a Yankee’s game and claimed that Palin bought makeup to go along with her “slutty flight attendant look,” gets to dictate social policy. A woman is allowed to be feminine without fearing that she will be demeaned or viewed as a sexual object and nothing more. Yes, we have reproductive organs, but we are more than that, although rapper Eminem may have missed that day in class. We, as a gender are allowing the likes of Playboy to list the powerful conservative women they would like to “hate f—.” If we don’t agree with the woman’s views, we’re ok with her being on that list. Instead we should be outraged.

Let’s not lie any longer to ourselves. We do not empower one another by aborting our children, or fighting for the rights of others to do so. Most of us don’t know anything about Planned Parenthood other than what we’ve been told to think. Someone tells us they are empowering women, so we think that they must be. We do not empower one another, or ourselves, by picking apart other women simply for being women. I can’t count the number of times I have heard another woman speak of someone as “a blonde bimbo,” even if that blonde woman was a political commentator who really knew her stuff. Ann Coulter is one who comes to mind who has been branded with this negative image simply based on her looks.  Why do we insist on selling ourselves short in that manner?

We can only empower ourselves by opening our eyes and coming out of the shadows. We can’t be afraid to get behind a woman who stands for everything that we stand for, simply because she is also beautiful. It is as if we look at certain women, like Sarah Palin, and say that we wish we could find someone who believed the things that she did, but who didn’t look as pretty. The sad truth is that we don’t even realize we are insulting ourselves and our daughters with this mentality. Soccer moms, strong women, beautiful women, and women who feel comfortable in a skirt and heels are out there. Their ideas and opinions are just as valuable as any man’s, or any woman who wears only pants and has short hair, for that matter.  Why do we allow someone like David Letterman to insult another beautiful woman the way he does, simply for being viewed as beautiful?

This photo (at Left) shows a beautiful mother with her beautiful daughter.  How is it that we hate ourselves, as a whole, so much that we would allow someone to call her a “slutty flight attendant?”  I would like to think that we are more enlightened than that.  This issue is larger than Sarah Palin.  Self-loathing, as a gender, is a problem that has been plaguing us, young and old, for quite some time.  We do not have to be someone else to succeed.  We do not have to hide behind the image of a man to make a difference in this world.  If you are a woman and you have strong ideas about something, STAND UP, but by all means do not feel that you have to make a run to the hair salon for a chop job just to prove your worth.  Women today give the slogan, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” a whole new life.  In closing, let’s not forget that Ronald Reagan didn’t “look the part” either.  He was “just some actor from Hollywood” but boy did he do a world of good for this great nation.  Ladies, let’s not rob ourselves of that same opportunity based on some archaic notion of what a leader should look like.

Note:  Repost from my orginal blog in 2009.  Amazingly, it is just as true today as it was when I wrote it just over two years ago.